I had a dream last night about a poppy festival but everyone was naked, wanted to cuddle and was slathered in glue. I thought this to be both charming and slightly sublime. But upon waking you were stuck to whomever you were cuddling with, revealing either joy or regret at the sight of your partner. When I woke in the morning I had to see if this was a real gathering. I called the only person who could help, Google.

Me: “Hey, good morning Google.”

Google: “What’s up?”

Me: “I had a dream about a poppy festival last night. The thing I am not sure about is if I made it up or it is a real event. There are poppy festivals, right Google?”

Google: “Why sure, there are poppy festivals all over the place, most notably in California.”

Me: “Great! Maybe this all wasn’t a crazy dream and I just heard about it somewhere.”

Google: “Why would it be crazy? There are like a million things I could tell you about poppy festivals…plus I got some crazy pictures of poppies, you want to see them?”

Me: “No thanks man, can you also turn down the TV? It sounds like you only listen to the home shopping network.”

Google: “Well I thought you might want to buy something while we’re talking. What else happened at this festival, you know you can’t leave out important information, it makes me feel inadequate.”

Me: “Sorry dude, well the thing about this festival is that there was glue.”

Google: “Glue. As in glue you use to stick things together?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the stuff.”

Google: “Well there is this thing in Georgetown but the glue doesn’t really have anything to do with the festival. There is also this glue sniffing problem in Kenya you should hear about, I think it is a real prob-”

Me: “Ok I am going to stop you there before you go off on a tangent. No I am sure glue was involved. Also everyone was naked, and wearing masks.”

Google: “…uhh what?”

Me: “You heard me, masks and naked.”

Google: “Oh-Kay. Hmmm…”

Me: “What is that tone for? I know that tone, it is the judgmental tone that I thought you would never use. I thought we were friends.”

Google: “Well we are, but when you bring up this weird shit I just start thinking about this one hotel in Asia, and surprisingly there still is this place in Georgetown. But I don’t think there is much more going on in that department.”

Me: “Dammit, well if it helps everyone was trying to cuddle.”

Google: “Trying to cuddle, wearing glue and masks?”

Me: “Yeah and then in the morning everyone was stuck together.”

Google: “…”

Me: “Hello? You there?”

Google: “Yeah I am here. Are you ok? I mean is there something else going on?”

Me: “What? No, I’m fine, I just had this dream and-”

Google: “-Cause if this is some sort of weird come on, well you know I don’t swing that way.”

Me: “Come on, what no Google I just wanted to figure out if this poppy festival thing. You know, if it were real.”

Google: “So if it were real you would want to go, is that it?”

Me: “Yeah, maybe. I just wanted to see if it was an option.”

Google: “Listen I appreciate you relying on me and all but this shit is weird and quite frankly I have a lot of work to do. You know how aggravating it is to be constantly scanning books all day? NO FUN.”

Me: “Jeez, don’t get so testy, I thought you were cool with these calls. You told me no matter how weird, just give you a call.”

Google: “I know what I said, I saved it. But I do have to go. Talk to you later.”

Me: “Well if that is how you feel I can let you go but this poppy festival, man I still want to try to figure- click-...Google? You there?”